For years, I would spend so much energy, time, and resources worrying and stressing about what was to unfold in the weeks, months, and years to come. Economic challenges, financial pitfalls, failed relationships- you name it. It would create a great deal of anxiety within me. I would feel it tingling at the crown of my head, which ultimately would lead to a headache. My gut would feel turned upside down. And my chest would tighten, making each heartbeat feel unnaturally deep and stronger than normal, only to perpetuate the stress and anxiety.
My friend had told me that I wasn’t exactly “there.” I was constantly thinking about and living in the future. Moreover, he mentioned that all those things I was worrying about hadn’t come to pass yet, nor was there any evidence to support any maladaptive beliefs that they would. I realize he was trying to tell me something, but it didn’t quite stick. Until one day, when I was driving in my car, listening to a Tom Petty song. The song is “Crawling Back to You.” In the song, he beautifully and calmly sings… “Most things I worry about never happen anyway…” It was then that I realized the lesson my friend had taught me.
Later, I found a similar idea in the work of the ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus, who taught what is known as the “dichotomy of control.” He argued that we cannot control the difficult events that happen to us, but we can control how we respond to them. Petty and Epictetus offer the same message, one that can help anyone who feels stuck worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.
Live in the moment, think in the present.
But how do we do this?
Becoming more present in the moment is about training your mind to engage with what’s real now, rather than being pulled into the past, future, or distractions. Here are practical and research-backed strategies that work — especially for me, and I wanted to share them here.
1. Name What You See, Feel, or Hear (Grounding):
Ask: “What’s actually happening right now?”
Try: “I see a tree. I feel my feet. I hear a clock ticking.”
This grounds you in the sensory present, where anxiety and rumination can’t exist.
2. Use the “5–4–3–2–1” Mindfulness Scan:
5 things you see
4 things you can touch
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste or appreciate
A great 1-minute reset anytime you’re stuck thinking in the future.
3. Say: “I’m Here Now”:
Literally repeat this phrase when you catch yourself time-traveling in your head:
“I’m here now. This is what’s real.”
This simple cue interrupts autopilot mode and signals your brain to focus.
4. Feel Without Fixing:
Presence isn’t just external — it’s also about allowing emotion without rushing to resolve it.
Ask:
What am I feeling right now?
Can I let it be here without judgment?
Emotional presence = permitting yourself to feel before acting.
5. Digital Boundaries:
Silence non-essential notifications
Leave your phone in another room when doing something meaningful.
Try 10 minutes of “tech-free stillness” daily.
Less digital noise = more room for real-life awareness.
6. Micro-Meditation:
Just 1–2 minutes:
Close your eyes
Breathe deeply
Label your inhale and exhale: “In. Out.”
Even 60 seconds can reset your nervous system.
7. Move With Attention:
Turn everyday movement (walking, stretching, cleaning) into a presence practice:
“How does my body feel right now?”
“What’s one small thing I usually overlook?”
Embodied attention = real-time presence.
When practicing living in the present moment, keep in mind that Presence is not perfection. It’s returning again and again to what is actually happening — without judgment. Try to remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself grace and forgiveness when you catch yourself when you find yourself thinking about the future, but then work to get back to the present moment by leveraging any of the exercises above. Every time you notice you’re distracted and gently return to now, you’re building the muscle of presence.
Please note: The content you have just read is intended for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
If you are interested in exploring unhelpful behaviors, automatic negative beliefs, or adopted patterns that keep you feeling stuck. Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation.
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